Monday, June 21, 2010

To scratch but the surface



I remember IGN when I was a kid. What it is now is some other beast. Horns, talons, and a very odd and blank stare. It hobbles about, shrouding itself in fanciful linens, and as it opens it's maw it squawks out a horrid noise.

I refer to, of course, this odd mixture of premature ejaculate:




There's so much mixed in here. Who ever wrote it can't seem to make up their mind -- Casual Gaming bad...NINTENDO ROCKS! But Microsoft and Sony are trying their hand at it. POSSIBLE NEW VIRTUAL BOY or it'll be tooootally good.

Did we mention that Nintendo sees Apple as a competitor? Yeah. iPad is 1337.


At 1:13, IGN touts that Sony is trying to prove that Motion Control isn't just random stick waggling.

I ask you, if you're not moving, is it motion control? The guy is just sitting there with what could be two dicks in his hand, deriving pleasure from GENERIC SAND SHOOTER. Just as good with a gamepad, and they most likely deserve each other.

The point of motion control is to have more creative space. I've always seen the option of motion control as an additive to game developers -- another way for their customers to interact and, shockingly, become more addicted to the game itself....perhaps even becoming, dare I say it, fans!

Like all of the blended mess that is poured into the Virtual Entertainment Industry, motion control is just another slice of the pie that helps us "resonate" with our games. One day, developers are going to get over their tendencies to half-ass the controls and we're going to see another Rare come out of the works. Do you remember Rare? You should. Circa 1997, 1998 of course. Anything before 2005. But even then their masterpieces were painted between 97 - 98.

Look upon this list:


  • Battletoads (& Double Dragon)

  • Donkey Kong Country (1,2,3)

  • Killer Instinct

  • GoldenEye 007

  • Diddy Kong Racing

  • Banjo-Kazooie ( and banjo-tooie)

  • Jet Force Gemini

  • Donkey Kong 64

  • Perfect Dark

  • Conker’s Bad Fur Day



Think about that line-up for a second. Let nostalgia roll over a bit. Ok. Now imagine someone did that again -- with Motion Control. So when they say it's not about random stick waggling -- god damnit it's ABSOLUTELY about waggling a stick. But doing it so intuitively that it's not so much waggling as it is throwing a fishing pole, or scaling a wall, or throwing a punch.

The third party that does that for us wins.

1 comment :

  1. i always wanted one of those red wii remotes.

    that IGN video is... really really stupid. i swear IGN isn't even a "games website" anymore as it is a "advertise to the 16-24 male demographic website".

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